小学生の頃、確かクリスマスに貰った赤い表紙の「ひみつの花園」という小学生向けの名作文学が大好きで何度も繰り返し読んだ。
みなしごになった女の子が大きなお屋敷に住む叔父さんに引き取られ「絶対に入ってはいけない」と言われている秘密の花園に入ってのあれやこれやで、本を読んでいる時は主人公になりきってページをめくるのももどかしく思ったものだ。
もはや目で活字を追ってなんかいなかった。
全くもってヒロインに同化していた。
秘密の花園にひきつけられる気持ちの高ぶりはそこに入ってはいけないという背徳感なんか見事に木端微塵にぶっ飛ばした。
そこに咲いている薔薇がもつれ絡まり、体に触れた時の棘の感触まで感じた。
大人になってからも庭の花にはさほど縁もなく「ひみつの花園」のワクワク感なんかすっかり忘れていた。
縁があり夫となった人も花とは全く別世界の人間で、固いものに触れることに多くの時間を費やしてきた。（キーボードとか）
目覚ましで起きると10分で家を飛び出し規則正しく滑り込んでくる電車に乗り、ビルの形にくり抜かれた空の下にそびえるビルの一室で画面に向かい、そしてすっかり暗くなって帰ってくることをリピートする。
そんなありふれた毎日。
そして今、窓からの柔らかな陽射しと小鳥の声で目を覚まし嬉々として庭の花に散水している夫がいる。
濡れた苺の葉をかき分けて不揃いな大きさの完熟した実を指で摘む。
細い茎、触れる葉先の感触。
苺の横には種まきして育てた繊細な秋桜、涼し気なキンレンカ、向日葵、黄色い花のゴーヤに淡紫の星型の花に黄色いしべが美しい茄子、トマトそして紫陽花が今が盛りとばかりに花開いているのをみてふと「花園」という言葉が蘇る。
時として牙をむく大自然に畏敬の念を抱きながら、この地に住む喜びを澄んだ空気とともに深く吸い込む。
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